Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
