Got a toothbrush?
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
wow bdsm is so cute
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