its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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