we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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