We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
