school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
