My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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