You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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