I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
