Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
