You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
