I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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