Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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