That's intense
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
