White coat. Heels.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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