Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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