I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
