he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
