I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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