Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
