tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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