Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We just shotgunned beers for America
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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