is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize