i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
