i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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