He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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