well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
