wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Less talking, more tequila
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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