i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
