Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
