Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
