We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
