Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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