I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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