mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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