What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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