she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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