Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
