We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
