She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
