whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
