I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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