I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
