the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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