pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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