I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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