WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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