You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
pray to the hookup gods
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
