I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
