yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
