That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
