So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
