walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
