sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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