youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
