those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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