turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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