Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize