I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
