when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
