I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
