we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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