Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize