franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
