I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I looked at my own cervix.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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