who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
