why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
