was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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