Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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