So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize