Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
