Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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