The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize