you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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