so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
is it fun? or sober?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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