I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well you can't waste a boner
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
