he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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