from now on my penis is your penis
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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